Shabbat Shalom Chayalim!

When we drive towards Jerusalem and make our way through the checkpoint, we always greet the soldiers on duty. This has allowed me to explain to my daughter (and anyone else who would listen): only a wonderful country like ours would set up an entire installation simply to give us the opportunity to wish our soldiers “Shabbat Shalom”.

“Abba, how come we don’t have two children?”

My three and a half year old daughter has begun to think about her being an only child. Here is yesterday’s conversation, while pushing her on a swing:

“Abba, how come we don’t have two children?”

“Hashem gave us you and you are…”

“Abba, Hashem made a mistake and left the other child in shamayim.”

“Umm…”

“Abba, push me!”

“Thank You” and “Shabbat Shalom”

I very much appreciated Ian Pear’s exploration of “Thank You” in To Make A Grown Man Cry. I think we need to explore “Shabbat Shalom” as well.

We moved into a new yishuv just before Rosh Hashanah and davened with a neighborhood shul for the Chagim. Our arrival into the yishuv was announced in shul, the kehillah sang “V’shavu Banim” (mistaking us for new olim), I was given maftir on Rosh Hashanah and we have since been invited to several families for Shabbat meals. Good people. But why did so few of these good people greet us in shul with Chag Sameach and Shabbat Shalom? (My wife felt invisible and thanked the person who finally did acknowledge her existence (in the bathroom).)

I no longer use “Shabbat Shalom” as a litmus test of a community. In our previous shul, members rarely greeted a newcomer. But many were actively engaged in time-consuming chesed activities. During my wife’s bed rest, the community cooked Shabbat and other meals for us, for months. I have come to treat the failure to greet someone as an unfortunate flaw.

But for other newcomers (and regulars!), “Shabbat Shalom” is a litmus test, especially if they have not experienced the otherwise good nature of the community.

In any event, the community (and the individual) cannot “offset” a failure to greet the newcomer with other good works. In Pirkei Avot, “Shammai said: Make your study of Torah a fixed habit; say little and do much; and receive every person cheerfully.” (Pirkei Avot 1:15) I understand this as a warning to the person busy with Torah study and good works: “Don’t think you are too busy to say a kind word!”

Perhaps we need to try to understand what inhibits good people from saying Shabbat Shalom. More importantly, we need to devise methods to ensure that the newcomer is indeed welcomed. It is not going to happen by itself.

Thank you and Shabbat Shalom.

Zalman

 

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